Today marks Mak & Abah's 52nd anniversary. The attached photo was taken one year before I was born. It was taken in Baling in 1963. Abah was stationed in Kroh at the time, now Pengkalan Hulu. Abah always took Mak to Baling when he got back from his 'masuk hutan' operations.
A couple of years ago, I took Mak and Kak Ani to visit the police station where Abah was based. I was too little to recall my life there, and had to depend on what Mak and Abah's had told me. I always joke with my friends that Kroh was the placed I was conceived. Would not dare confirm with Mak on this. So I just guess.
Abah will be very happy if he had the chance to visit this station and Kroh. It turned out that the road in front of Kak Ani's house was the only way to get to-from Kroh from-to the station. What a fate! Allah is indeed The Greatest. And I thank Him for allowing me to know Kak Ani and her family. Small world indeed.
March 3, 1964 - Mak and Abah had their first child, after close to six years of marriage. Abah named me 'Radiah'. I am thankful for this somewhat rare spelling in my name. As far as I can remember I was the only Radiah in primary and secondary schools. Most individuals would have the spelling 'Radziah', 'Raziah', 'Rodiah', or 'Rodziah'. I think this is also the reason why i can use 'radiah@usm.my' as my username for my official email address.
However, among family members and friends, I am known as Odi. I asked Mak how I got this shorter version, after some not so nice people back in school taunted me of glamorizing my name as in Ogy Ahmad Daud. Here was Mak's response:
"Masa Odi kecik, Odi baby dulu, Mak ngan Abah rajen ngagah Odi - Di, oooooooooooo Di. Jadi bila Odi dah pandai bercakap, Odi ingat yang tu nama Odi, Odi bahsakan Odi gitulah... Budak-budakkan suka ngikut cakap orang tua. Lepas tu, terus melekat jadi Odi." One must read this in the Muar dialect ye. Mak was born and grew up there till she was married to Abah at the age of 18.
Another thing that I always found fascinating beside how I became Odi was how Mak had to address Abah as Abah. Before I was born, Mak had been addressing Abah as Usop. After I learned to pick up the language, I also addressed Abah as Usop. So Mak and Abah had to put a stop to this. Knowing that I loved to imitate, Mak changed the way she addressed Abah. She started addressing Abah as Abah, and not long after that I too started addressing Abah as Abah.
I love the way Mak and Abah addressed each other till now. Mak used 'Noli', rather than 'Nor' - the name known to her family and relatives in Muar and Melaka - when she spoke to Abah. Pretty modern for a woman of her generation, don't you think so. Abah actually chose 'Noli' so that the name will be different from the usual 'Nor'. So, even now all relatives, except Mak Long, Pak Long and Atuk, would not know who 'Noli' is.
And in my case, the first time someone asked 'Ini rumah Nor ke?', my answer was 'Tak ada orang nama Nor sini. Salah rumah."
As for Abah, he would address himself to Mak as 'Usop', not 'Abang', or any other terms of endearment. But the way he said, it was so 'manja'. Example 'Usop nak kluo ni, Noli nak pesan apa." And Mak would like "Abah beli ....". Abah was very 'garang' to the 'anak-anak', but when he said 'Usop' to Mak, the 'garang'ness in his voice just faded away.
Abah also loved to hold Mak's hand when they walked together even on the last few days of his life. I always told my students about this. Quite a number of couples these days can only be seen holding hands during their courtship or in the early stage of marriage. And by the time they reach a certain stage in their relationship, they tend to drift apart. But not in Abah and Mak's case. When I took them out, to the pasar, to the Lake Garden, to the kedai, I would always observe Mak and Abah's body language and just smile. And 100% of the time, it was Abah who would make the first move to hold Mak's hand.
My cousin who once saw this during one of our balik kampung trips asked Mak directly - "Macam mana Ngah buat Pak Ngah. Mak ngan Abah tak macam tu pun. Mak tua dua tahun je ngan Ngah. Tapi Ngah ngan Pak Ngah mcm org masih bercinta je.. Abah ngan Mak...(sigh)" I could not remember the whole words Mak said, other than - "Ngah ngan Pak Ngah memang macam tu dari dulu..."
I once asked Abah why Abah "suka pegang tangan mak bila jalan sama-sama"....Smiling he said: "Bukan senang Abah nak dapat Mak...". I can understand this...Abah always told his life stories: "Abah orang susah, sekolah sampai darjah tiga. Hitam, comot, berkilat. Nak makan pun kena cari sendiri".
As parents, Mak and Abah, like any other parents, wanted their children to be better than them. Education is very important in my family. I started to read rather young at that time, for my generation that is. Mak and Abah had me read this one English book for Std 1 class when I was 4 years old. I cannot recall the name of the book. All i can recall was there were lots of pictures, and when it came for me to say 'W' when spelling out loud, the pronunciation was this 'dabal U'. Mrs Zainal had to correct me on this, and I said to her: "Bapa saya ajar sebut 'dabal U' cikgu, bukan 'double U'.
Then when I reached Std 2, Abah and Mak started buying Utusan Melayu for Malay and New Straits Times for English. My adik-adik and I had no choice but to study 'bagai nak rak' Jawi and English. Thank God Collins had English-Malay-English dictionary. Although Abah cannot read English, he would asked all of us to describe the main story in NST. He would also made us read Utusan Melayu aloud. And when one of us made a mistake. s'iaaaapppppp... that was the sound of the rotan, and for a few seconds you had no idea who got hit even if it was you yourself... Only after your brain realized the effect, you shouted - Sakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeettttttttttttttt... 'dalam hati' only.
Because of this, I managed to use English, and read and write Jawi, rather well. True, my English will never reach native level, but at least I can communicate with my friends who use the language. And as Mak, Abah always said "cakap orang putih".
Beside the fear of getting rotan, we had to learn Jawi for another reason. Jawi was the secret code for Mak and Abah. They would spell so very, very, very fast even Usain Bolt cannot overtake them. So far, what I could catch was 'te lam wo re' for 'telur'. The rest just passed me like speeding bullets. And by the time they finished spelling, we the kids were like ..."apa Mak, Abah cakap ni?"
Mak and Abah's view was that all the children must be able to read and write in Malay - Jawi and Rumi - and English if we want to be better than them in life.
These were just some small bits and pieces of my life with and observation on Mak and Abah. They are many, many more which I would like to share with my nephews, nieces, other relatives, and friends if time permits, InsyaAllah.
If I, their child, do not take time to document their life, who will, right? To my friends who take time to read this note, thank-you. And you must also have realized that this is one of those rare moments Odi writes using the full spelling and not her favorite text spelling.
Selamat Hari Ulangtahun Mak, Abah! Semoga Odi dan adik-adik serta cucu-cucu Mak, Abah dapat terus merayakan ulangtahun Mak, Abah.
Odi
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